Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
