i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
