Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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