WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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