i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
