That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
