i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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