My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
