and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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