wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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