Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
