i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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