He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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