New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
