Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
