woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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