i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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