So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
