Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
