Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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