We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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