You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
