Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
be right there i have to get my cape
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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