I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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