i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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