THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
