it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
