Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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