do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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