Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
