am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
