It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
