nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
