My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
