I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
