She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
