I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
