Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
