i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
