It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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