all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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