I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
