But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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