my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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