the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
then he tried to convert me to islam
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
