Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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