Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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