Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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