I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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