i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
