I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
